Reality

Greetings all!

I hope that life is finding you well. Despite my optimism for this school year, reality has sunk in. This year is NOT going well. I don't even know where to start...

Apparently, the district drama is NOT behind us... people are dropping like flies here! Good people are leaving because they feel like they have been bullied out the door. It frustrates me to see people in positions of power making unwise decisions. Sadly, it seems that children are no longer the focus here in the district. All that has remained is squabbling about money... who's spending too much, we don't have any, who's not spending enough... whatever. Grow up and figure it out. Maybe it's too simplistic of me to say that since I'm not in the position to fix it but bottom line is: it has to be fixed.

My other frustration is this school year so far. This year's class is NOT last year's class. I have had more frustration than I care to admit. For the first time in my life, I feel severely ill-equipped to handle the challenges that I'm facing. It has been a struggle because I LOVE teaching, but this year I have not enjoyed it. Of course, there have been some good moments. Through my hardships this year, I have to realize several things: The first is that it is not fair to compare one class to the other. I know that many of my hang-ups are because of things my class did naturally, without hesitation last year. And my last year's class got along well with each other, while this class is downright mean to each other. I also know that every teacher, in the course of his or her career, is going to have a class that will push him or her to the breaking point at least 10 times during the year. One day during the second or third week of school, the afternoon got so bad I was ready to turn in a resignation. Luckily, our new principal is awesome and was able to give me some good advice and support.

Another thing I realized came today. A good friend, and fellow 5th grade teacher said to me, "A.J. You have to pick your battles. If you don't let some of it go, you'll be exhausted and crabby the whole year." I realized that she's right. Because I am exhausted and extremely crabby by the end of every single day. I don't like that person. Something HAS to change. I have a tough mix of kids but I guess I just have to find ways to reach them that works for them. I realized that I've been trying to handle it on my own, and not trusting it to the Lord. That's the fastest way to failure. I have to "Let Go and Let God." I know it sounds cliche but it is true. I have to trust in God to help me through this tough time. And although I feel like I've been abandoned, I know it's not true. I get so upset but it's time to stop dwelling on the negatives! I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I have to try and it has to get better. With God on my side, I have high hopes!

On a much lighter note, in late September, I rescued another dog. This one is also a black lab, and the twist? She was only 8 weeks old when I rescued her. She was abandoned and she needed a good home. So I took her in, and now Chilly has a sister. Her name is Java and she is ADORABLE!!! My mom calls her Java Chip (like the Starbucks Frap) and I usually call her Java Joe. It is so funny to watch her and Chilly play... Of course, Chilly is used to playing with my friends' LARGE German Shepherds... It is a learning experience for me too.. the last time I had a puppy (like an actual baby puppy) was Tanner... that was 15 years ago... when I was 15. I also realized that adding Java to the mix, made Chilly a lot cuddlier. She is jealous!!! But I'll tell ya... it's easier with two dogs because they entertain each other :) Java is getting bigger and starting to listen more and more. It's been really fun and although I was not looking to adopt another dog, I'm so glad that Java came to be part of our family. Not to brag, but I tend to think that both Chilly and Java fell under a lucky star in life when they landed in my home. They are so loved and spoiled :)

So... life isn't all bad. I have to look through the tears to see the rays of sunshine. It is a process, and I'm learning to work through it. I suppose that is what I have for now.

Blessings friends,

~A.J.